“So wait, what is this again?” Mary asked as she was ushered through the door of the mansion. The plane had taken her and a couple others from the middle of the Bible belt to a completely unknown location. Like, she’d never seen so many trees. And never pines like this. The only trees they had in Nebraska were the few oaks and whatever that didn’t get in the way of the cornfields.
“I dunno,” Kyle replied, stepping through with his bags, “they told me it was free school, so I figured that it was some kind of college prep program.”
“You didn’t read the fine print?” Sean scoffed and slung his duffel over his shoulder. “Fucking waste of air. Kill yourself.”
“Who even invited you?” Mary attacked him, “All you did the entire plane ride was complain about how much better Texas schools are than anything else in the world. Why are you even here?” Sean flipped his hair out of the way and smoothed out the crease in his chinos.
“Free college. Duh. Same reason you both are here.” He turned away from Mary and whispered just loudly enough that she would hear. “Not that education’s gonna do anything for you.”
“Who said anything about college?” Cara disembarked the plane, rolling her suitcase behind her. “I’m sixteen. Wasn’t this like a college prep thing? Like a recruiting trip?”
“Bitch I’m nineteen,” Maddie replied, coming up beside her, “If this is a recruiting trip someone missed the goddamn deadline. But shit, this beats Notre Dame. Costs less, too.”
“Sorry for all the confusion,” a man said as they walked into the lobby. “I’m really glad to see that the plane from the middle of the country made it. The West Coast plane and Ben are both here already, so you’re right in the middle of the pack. Make sure to get settled.” He approached them and the group saw a middle-aged man with a bald head and a big black beard. He smiled at them.
“I’ll be your tour guide for today. Welcome to your new home. I can show you to your rooms if you’d like or we can just drop your bags here and take a walk around the rest of the place.”
“Wait a sec,” Mary said, holding up a hand, “I think everyone wants to know what the fuck this is. Half of us think it’s like a recruiting trip and the other half think it’s free college.” Everyone started nodding in agreement except for Sean, who just snorted and mumbled, “read the fine print”.
“Well you’re both right,” the man said, “Sort of. Honestly this is more like a social experiment than either of those.” Maddie perked up at the words ‘social experiment’. “But yeah, it’ll definitely look good for any university that you apply to. And yeah, there’s gonna be a pretty big stipend at the end for your time. It’s like volunteering for a study or something. You get paid at the end and you get to say you did it.” There were a couple of murmurs from the peanut gallery before they came to a general consensus.
“That’s cool I guess.” Maddie said, pushing her headband back a little bit more.
“Now let’s show you to your rooms!” He clapped and lead them to the elevator.
“Bro, shut the fuck up!” Ace slid his shades down over his eyes and just tried to relax for a second. The plane ride was hell, the move-in was hell, and now he just wanted to relax by the pool, except…
“But why? Panic! at the Disco is pretty much the best band ever!” Raven was following him. Yeah, her name was actually Raven. Sure his name was Ace, but come on, who names their kid Raven? That’s like slapping a big sign on her that says ‘This kid will grow up to be a weirdo’.
“You’re so wrong I don’t even want to start,” Ace started, “Also did you really follow me from the rooms down to the pool just to try to convince me that fucking Panic! at the Disco is the best band ever?”
“Yeah,” Raven replied, missing the point entirely.
“So that’s not even a little weird?” Ace asked incredulously. “We literally met on the plane ride here and now you’re following me around?”
“Yeah that’s really fucking weird,” Vid pointed out. He had just come down the stairs with his towel in one hand and a big bottle of water in the other. “Like Christ, if you didn’t punctuate every other sentence with how you’re a lesbian I’d think you were crushing on him hard.” He tossed his towel down on the pool chair next to Ace and gave him a nod. They had implicitly bonded on the plane ride against Raven and her crusade to drag her ‘It’s not a phase’ phase out as long as humanly possible and now were quite in tune when it came to teaming up on the older girl.
“I am a lesbian!” Raven insisted impassionately, “Guys are disgusting!” Vid gave Ace a pointed look and popped out his contacts. Under the purple lenses, his brown eyes were irritated and red. The San Franciscan dove into the water, surfacing and exclaiming loudly.
“Christ that’s warm!” He shouted. “You get used to the cold-ass water on the west coast, I guess.” He swam around a bit, backstroking past Ace and Raven then pulling himself out of the water. “I can get used to this, too, though. Did you see if there was a weight room down here?”
“Yeah,” Ace replied, “It’s through that doorway there past the basketball court.”
“Who is this guy and why is he so loaded?” Vid laughed as he grabbed his towel and went to explore the massive exercise complex. “Not that I’m complaining, though. This place is awesome!” Ace watched his new friend go, then turned his head back to try to tan a bit under the massive flood lights that were installed over the pool.
“Okay, maybe All Time Low is better than Panic!,” Raven conceded, “But only because they’re more consistently good.” Ace groaned. He was gonna kill himself.
“Wow, finally, I thought you were never gonna get here!” The bald man with the bushy beard ushered the last and largest group into the lobby with their bags. “Everyone else is here, Hawaii, Canada, West Coast, and Central. They’re probably all acquainted and have gotten settled in, so I’ll keep the song and dance short to give you time to catch up.” The East Coast group tittered. What the bald guy was saying couldn’t matter less to them. The plane ride had gotten very interesting when the plane had made two quick stops in Philadelphia and Baltimore and picked up two people who had somewhat of a history. The moment Erika had gotten on the plane and seen Tre, the air almost solidified from the tension. The rest of the plane ride had been spent quietly either catching up on their backstory or guessing at the odds of that happening.
“Okay, so I guess there’s better things to do than listen to me,” the bald guy was saying, “So get to your rooms and make friends, I suppose.” He waved them to the elevator and showed himself out of the house as they moved to find their rooms and unpack.
PJ and Miranda filed out of the elevator with the rest of the group and found the room marked ‘Jenkins’ with the opposite room marked ‘Maxner’. They quickly looked at each other and both went into PJ’s room with their stuff. It was always better to have a bed buddy, PJ liked to reason.
“So let me get this straight,” Miranda said as PJ unzipped his suitcase and began to hang up his shirts in the closet, “Erika used to date Tre, but they broke up and neither of them was particularly happy about it?” PJ nodded absentmindedly.
“Yeah, something like that. It’s real silly, the whole thing. Real silly.” Miranda continued.
“But now they’re both here at this place doing the same thing and it’s kind of weird because Erika started getting into CS after they broke up because it reminded her of him and he’s weirded out about it because he’s moved on?”
“Real silly.” PJ repeated as he stacked his shoes on the provided rack.
“Are you going to let me have any room for my clothes?” Miranda asked, motioning to the almost-full closet that PJ had commandeered for himself already.
“You can have that drawer,” PJ replied, “I don’t think I’m gonna use that.” The drawer was about the size of a breadbox. Miranda gave him a look that both of them knew well. PJ sighed. He was gonna have to help Miranda or there was gonna be hell to pay in bed that night.
“What in the world are they doing?” Daniel asked as he came back up the elevator. He and Grace had popped downstairs to see who else was making dinner and try to make some acquaintances. The sight in front of them was more interesting than anyone that they had met at dinner. A guy clad in entirely shades of pastel and a girl wearing an oversized flannel and jeans were trying to cram an entire wardrobe through a doorway aided by a healthy amount of grunting and swearing.
“Something funny-looking,” Grace replied next to him. “You think they’re dating, too?” Daniel and Grace had gotten into a rather intense debate over whether they would share a room or not, which Daniel had finally had the final say in. His job as a video game streaming personality relied heavily on his sex appeal, and a live-in girlfriend would definitely crush the dreams of more than a few of his regular viewers. It was best for them financially, he reasoned, if Grace just stayed out of the picture while Daniel raked in the big bucks. Obviously this couple didn’t have the same problem.
“What’s going on out here?” Ben asked as he left his room. He saw the couple struggling to fit the wardrobe into the room and the other couple staring at them blankly and quickly picked a side.
“You look like you could use some help, yeah?” He asked PJ as he approached. The red-faced Bostonian just grunted an affirmative. Ben smiled. He walked around the piece of furniture into PJ and Miranda’s room and got ready to pull at the wardrobe.
“Okay, you push on three, yeah?” He called to the other side. A grunt made up PJ’s answer and Ben began the count.
“One, two,” He counted, then yanked hard on the wardrobe. “Three!” PJ threw his weight forward into empty air. Ben had moved it himself and PJ fell face first into the floor.
“Gotcha!” Ben called from inside the room. He dragged the wardrobe into position next to the one already inside the room and came back into the hallway. The Bostonian was lying on his stomach and breathing heavily.
“Need a hand, brah?” Ben asked, offering his to PJ. PJ took it and suddenly Ben found himself on his back in a wrestling hold. Hot breath entered his ear.
“Thanks for the help, buddy.” PJ whispered as he held Ben down.
“Ooh boy you’re getting a little handsy here aren’t you?” Ben replied, and rolled his opponent backwards. The two tumbled down the hallway, trying to get a hold on the other. Daniel snorted.
“At least it looks like someone is making friends.” Grace laughed and they went into Grace’s room and tried to block out the sound of sweaty masculinity in the hall.
“I’m just saying that she doesn’t need to make such a big deal about it. Some people just don’t work together, and it’s not that hard to let it go,” Tre was saying as he explored the lower levels of the house with John Averse.
“I’d try to offer you advice, but, y’know, mine is shit.” John replied. He had qualified earlier statements about Tre’s dating life with one important caveat: John didn’t really have one. It was more like a series of one-off dates and one-sided crushes with disastrous resolutions.
“God I hope there’s a weight room here,” Tre said as they made their way down the stairs to the basement, “That is one thing I learned to appreciate in college. Free gym membership is awesome.” They entered the basement and John whistled in appreciation.
“Yeah this is more than just a weight room.” The basement looked more like an airplane hanger partitioned off into a bunch of different sections. To their right an indoor track encircled a basketball court, separated from them by a wall of glass and a door. Directly in front of them was an Olympic-sized pool lit up with a bunch of stadium-grade floodlights. A concrete structure containing what Tre could only guess was showers sat off to the left alongside a large wooden sauna and a hot tub.
“Okay this is way more impressive than any other basement I’ve ever seen.” Averse said in amazement. Tre couldn’t help but agree.
“Who’s that?” a voice called from near the pool. Tre and Averse made their way over to the pool and saw a curly-haired guy tanning on a recliner wearing large sunglasses.
“Thank God, I thought you were Raven again.” He said with a sigh of relief. “Ace Croweton.” He stuck out his hand and flipped his glasses up into his hair. “Where’re you guys from?”
“Delaware,” Tre replied. “I’m Tre Kayhill.”
“John Averse, I’m from NYC.” John said, “You look like you’re right at home here. You from LA or something?”
“Yeah actually dude,” Ace said, smiling. He reached under his chair and pulled out a vape pen. He took a deep hit and let the vapor waft from his nostrils. “LA’s where it’s at.” He grabbed his shirt from under the chair and pulled that on. “You just get here or something?”
“Yeah, just dropped everything off in our rooms,” Tre said, “We figured we should explore a little bit and see who we can meet.”
“You met Raven yet?” Ace asked, standing. He was met by two blank stares. “Oh God. You’ll know her when you see her. Or hear her. Blue hair. Her voice sounds like a dying cat. She’s a lot of fun.” He made a face that obviously said that she was anything but a lot of fun.
“We’ll look out for her.” John said. “Is there a weight room around here?” Ace nodded.
“Yeah, I think it’s over there. Vid should be there.” Tre perked up.
“Vid? There’s someone named Vid here?” he asked.
“Yeah, weird, right?” Ace replied, “I was gonna ask him about it, but then I was all like, ‘Nah dude your name is Ace.’ Like, pot kettle, man.” He walked toward the basketball court with Tre and John in tow and passed through the door.
“Yeah it’s right there,” he said, pointing out the corner where a sizable cinderblock wall with viewports in it formed a room of its own. The door was propped open and faint grunts could be heard. “I guess he’s still there.” He trotted across the basketball court and pushed the door open.
“Hey, Vid, I just met these two guys, John and Tre, they’re pretty cool.” Vid racked his bar and sat up.
“Did you just say Tre?” John and Tre walked through the door and Vid’s jaw dropped.
“No fucking way. Dude!” He jumped up and ran across the room to tackle Tre in a hug.
“You’re kidding me!” Tre exclaimed and hugged him back. Ace and John looked absolutely lost.
“What’s going on?” John asked.
“Vid’s my cousin,” Tre said, “What are the chances that my cousin from San Francisco and I both got this offer and both showed up here?”
“Pretty low, dude,” Ace said, taking a hit from his vape.
“How the hell have you been, man?” Vid asked his cousin, clapping him on the back, “You look really good. How much do you lift now?”
“I’ve been great,” Tre said, “You’re looking pretty good yourself. It’s good to see that you kept on with the lifting.” Vid smiled.
“That’s really cool,” Ace said, “But I’m kind of hungry. Have you guys eaten yet?” The other three shook their heads and the new group of friends headed upstairs for dinner.
“Wait, you’re not sixteen,” Cara said, “No way.”
“Yeah I am,” Holly retorted, “I just still have a babyface.”
“Lucky,” Mary said, “I’m sixteen and I look like I’m already 25. Maybe that’s why I date older guys.” She plucked another cigarette from the pack tucked under her bra strap and sparked it up.
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s why.” Cara said, giving her a sideways glance. Cara was the oldest in the group, albeit by one year, but she seemed like a full-blown adult compared to these two. Holly was too shy to do anything more than stutter out a few sentences and Mary seemed like she was trying to reach way farther than she could, so to speak. The cigarette habit and the insistence on dating older guys said enough about her. It made Cara feel way better about herself, as mean as it was to feel that way.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mary asked through a cloud of smoke. Holly screwed up her nose at the smell and turned her head.
“Where did you even get that?” Holly asked with a hint of disgust. “Those are illegal.”
“I slept with my manager for a full carton,” Mary replied. “Hey, he was only nineteen. It was fine,” she said when Holly’s mild disgust turned to full-on horror. Cara was preparing a reluctant admonishment when the elevator dinged and she was saved. Four guys walked out of the elevator. Three of them were pretty tall and the fourth, was shorter than the rest by a generous amount. The three girls watched as they made their way to the kitchen and the short one began pulling out fixings for ramen noodles.
“I know you guys are in college and you basically live on this stuff, but seriously, my ramen is hella good. Now if I can just find some sesame oil…” He stood on his tiptoes and looked into the top cupboard trying to find ingredients and the curly blond-haired surfer boy reached over his head and grabbed a glass bottle.
“This what you wanted?” He asked in a voice so lazy it seemed almost practiced.
“Yeah thanks Ace,” the short one said. “Tre, can you start a pot of water boiling?” The tallest one moved to the stovetop to start the water boiling and the short one turned to see the girls.
“Heya,” he said, “I’m making ramen. I can add another brick or two if you want to join us.” Something about the way his hair was pulled into a cropped wolf tail or his purple eyes made him look really cute to Cara.
“Yeah, sure, we’d love to.” She said, standing up and leading the other two girls over. “I’m Cara Elbright.”
“Ace Croweton,” the surfer dude said offhandedly and took a hit from his vape.
“John Averse,” the blond guy offered, “New York City. I was at NYU when they picked me up.”
“And I’m Vid.” Time seemed to slow around Cara. It was like she was trying to breathe Jello.
“… Vid?” she gasped. Her brain wasn’t working. Nothing was functioning.
“Yeah, like what the fuck kind of name is Vid?” Mary came up beside her and drew on her cigarette.
“Yo, same!” Ace whooped, “Literally the same thing I said!” He went in for a high five, having to nearly crouch to make hand contact with the shorter girl.
“You okay?” Holly asked quietly, sidling up to Cara. There was something wrong, she could tell, and it was easier to try to talk to Cara than anyone else right now.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Cara said, sounding not at all fine, “I think I’m gonna go lie down instead.” She quickly made her way to the elevator and turned her back to everyone else.
“… Okay?” Tre said uncertainly, “I don’t really know what that was, but do you think anyone else would be down for dinner?”
“Maybe Raven,” Vid suggested discreetly, then snorted when Ace’s face went almost sheet-white.
“Why don’t we actually try to meet people?” John asked. “Let’s each go try to find someone and bring them to dinner. At least we’ll introduce ourselves to someone we don’t know.” Chase gave a lazy thumbs-up, Mary nodded, and Holly smiled demurely. “Oh, sorry Vid,” John said, “You don’t mind manning the kitchen while we go find more people, do you?”
“That’s fine,” Vid said, dicing some Spam on a cutting board, “You do you. I’ll just put on some music. Have fun y’all.” The group broke and everyone but Vid headed for the staircase.
Holly climbed the stairs and stepped onto the dorm floor. Everyone else seemed to be heading down the hall and picking rooms at random. She sucked in a breath and turned to the room on her left. The brass placard read ‘King’. Holly steeled her nerves. Sooner or later she had to take charge and just talk to someone. She raised a hesitant hand and knocked on the door. She heard the lock turning and the door swung open.
The most beautiful man she had ever seen in her life stood in front of her. He stood a whole head taller than her and he had the most perfect cheekbones possible. His green eyes stood out behind his big black square-rimmed glasses and Holly immediately got lost in them.
“Hi, can I help you?” His voice was velvety and smooth and Holly melted.
“Uh…” she stuttered, “I… I…”
“I’m Daniel.” He offered her a hand, and Holly took it gingerly. He was strong, his muscles were defined, and she was putty in his hands.
“Uh… do you want to go to dinner?” she asked. Stupid. Damn it. She finally meets the most perfect boy in the world and ruins it in the first sentence. To her surprise, he just laughed.
“Wow, usually it takes at least a couple more minutes before someone asks me that, but sure thing. Where did you have in mind?” Holly’s heart soared. Another chance.
“No, no!” she corrected herself hastily. “Not like that. I meant… Vid’s making dinner and he wanted to bring more people so he told us to come see if anyone wants dinner and invite them and we can meet everyone and make new friends.” She shut herself up quickly. She was rambling. Every single time she met a cute boy either she couldn’t form a single word or she couldn’t shut up. He laughed again and Holly’s heart turned to liquid.
“Sure thing, let me just go fix my hair. I’d hate to make a bad first impression because my part was in the wrong place.” He flashed her a perfect white straight-toothed smile and turned away to find a mirror and a brush. Holly just nodded dumbfoundedly. There wasn’t a single hair out of place; she had checked. She wasn’t sure if her mouth was hanging open but his back was turned anyways. He couldn’t see her. By the time he turned back around her mouth was closed and she was smiling in the cutest way she could manage.
“Alright, I just have to make one more stop before we head downstairs.” Holly nodded enthusiastically, keeping her mouth shut. The less she said to this angel of a boy, the better. He stepped out of the room and locked the door, then walked across the hall and knocked ‘Shave and a Haircut’ on the door. Holly caught the word ‘Martin’ on the placard before the door opened. A girl, shorter than her by a couple inches at least, opened it a crack, then swung it open fully.
“Hey baby,” she said, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his jaw. “Are you going to dinner?”
“Yeah,” he said, returning the kiss, “We’ve just been invited.” Holly’s heart instantly froze. That was his girlfriend. He wasn’t single. He was just being nice. The sledgehammer of reality came flying through her chest and ground her heart into splinters. Those splinters were then picked up by the shovel of romance and hurled into the fiery pit of rejection. Outwardly, she smiled wide.
“Everyone’s invited!” She said in the most genuinely pleased voice she could muster. In her head, she knew that it sounded like a strangled, dying parrot was trying to make conversation, but she kept smiling.
“Look, I’m just saying that it’s considered extremely rude in Japanese culture to rub your chopsticks together. It’s implying that the host won’t provide good enough chopsticks for his guests that don’t splinter.” Vid gestured casually with his soup spoon as Sean stared him in the eye and slowly began to rub his chopsticks together.
“Wait, isn’t your mom Chinese?” Tre asked, looking up from his bowl.
“Fuck off, dude!” Vid shouted back, flinging a piece of Spam across the table to miss his cousin and hit John right between the eyes. “Did you just assume my racial identity?”
“I actually am a transracial African-American,” Maddie spoke up suddenly in a complete deadpan. The room fell silent. Vid felt shitty. He was just making a joke. He swallowed his pride and opened his mouth to apologize.
“Hey Maddie, I’m -”
“Nah I’m just fucking with you,” Maddie laughed. “Did you see your face? You looked like an idiot. More than you did before!” The table erupted in laughter and Vid’s face flushed.
“Okay, you got me, I guess,” he said as everyone laughed. He glanced around as order returned to the table and people began making conversation with their new housemates around them. Tre and John were swapping stories and laughing with Ben and PJ who after the impromptu wrestling match in the hallway seemed to be inseparable. Vid glanced back to his right where Ace was sitting and looking quite uncomfortable while Mary sat across from him and slurped on her noodles for far too long before finally eating them. He nudged Ace with his elbow and leaned in to whisper in his ear.
“Dude, go for it. She’s like sixteen. Romeo and Juliet clauses are a thing.” Ace returned the most mixed stare that Vid had ever seen in his life.
“I’m twenty.” Vid shrugged.
“That’s still cool in most states.” He returned to his ramen while Ace tried to disappear into his chair and escape Mary’s sight.
“Hey, by the way, where’s Cara?” Vid asked. The apparent ringleader of the teenage trio had been absent since before dinner began.
“Who fucking cares?” Sean said flippantly, “She’s from fucking Wisconsin.”
“What’s wrong with fucking Wisconsin?” Maddie asked, challenging Sean Jolene’s already-legendary temperament and will.
“It’s not Texas. It’s automatically inferior.” Sean shot back. “Fucking cheese-head blustery-faced pedophiles.”
“Now wait a minute,” Tre said, raising a hand to stop Sean’s relentless badgering of Wisconsin, “There’s a lot of good things from Wisconsin, like, uh… Actually I got nothing. Carry on.” Vid laughed as Tre lowered his hand and the assault continued.
“Shit state, shit people, the only Communist football team in the country.” Sean checked them off on his fingers as he went.
“You wanna take this outside, bro?” Maddie stood on her chair and started rolling up her sleeves “I’ll break your jaw then fuck your mom!”
“I don’t fight disabled kids, thanks.” Sean casually batted Maddie’s challenge aside and took a sip of his ramen bowl.
“She’s not disabled,” Vid pointed out with a hint of uncertainty.
“Yeah she is,” Sean replied, “She’s got two X chromosomes doesn’t she?” The table went silent for the second time in five minutes.
“Well I’m gonna turn in for the night,” Tre broke the awkward silence., picking his bowl up and heading for the dishwasher, “Night, all.”
“I was joking,” Sean said when everyone began turning accusing stares his direction, “It’s a fucking meme.”
Nobody said anything for a few seconds, then Ben snorted into his soup and splashed ramen all over the table.
“Okay that’s funny as shit,” Ben said, reaching for a napkin to wipe off his face.
“Yeah that’s real silly,” PJ agreed, reaching over to ruffle Ben’s hair while the Hawaiian boy dried his face.
Dinner progressed smoothly from there. Sean and Maddie quickly declined from open hostility to casual cross-table banter, while PJ and Ben threw jibes at every guy less muscular than themselves, that is to say everyone. By the time everyone agreed dinner was over and it was time to clean up, they were laughing like a group of old friends. Holly smiled. It seemed like everybody was getting along just perfectly. She was in such a good mood that she almost had managed to push Daniel and his girlfriend to the back of her mind. Almost. Her mood soured as she stepped into her room. Stupid boys not telling her about their stupid girlfriends and ruining her stupid day. She flopped down on her bed, defeated. Maybe tomorrow would be better. She slipped into bed and flipped the light off.
Vid Writes 
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